Old Friends and New Beginnings - 28th November 2006
Wow, the past two months have flown by! I can't believe that so much time has passed since our last blog update. The truth is, we've been busy. In fact, we've been to Australia and back and have been busily seeking employment and free lunches since our return to Hull.
As our last post indicated, Fletch took up a position with the university. They sponsored him for a two-year work visa and, British bureaucracy being what it is, we had to re-enter Australia for the visa to be issued.
Shortly before our trip home, however, we spent a day with some friends who were holidaying in the UK. They were in Scotland and we drove to meet them at Durham, which is roughly halfway between Edinburgh and Hull. We ended up spending the afternoon at a lovely restaurant called the Knitsley Mill, about 30 miles from Durham itself. We had a wonderful lunch and it was so lovely to spend a relaxing afternoon with great company. 
We went to Australia at the beginning of October and spent three very busy weeks catching up with friends and family. We could have used another three weeks, time flew by so quickly. It was wonderful to see everyone, especially as it is likely to be some time before we return. However, it means that you all can come and visit us...the offer is open for anyone who is going to be in our part of the world.
We came back to the UK on the last day of October. The trip back was one of the most pleasant flights I have ever experienced. Between Singapore and London the plane was almost empty, meaning that Fletch and I were able to take up a whole row each (5 seats each) to lie down and rest. That is a good way to spend 13 hours in a plane!
Our arrival back in the UK coincided with a burst of cold weather. There were warnings at the airport and on the radio that November 1st was going to be "COLD" and, sure enough, the temperature dropped 10 degrees overnight. It has stayed cool, with temperatures varying between 2 and 12, but mainly around the 8 mark. The autumn colours came and the trees have almost finished shedding their leaves, which of course turns the streets a vibrant yellow slush. It hasn't been raining very much, so it has been clear and brisk, which is weather that I love.
The colder weather has meant that we have had to familiarise ourselves with the vagrancies of central heating. Being Queenslanders means that we really are pretty clueless about the heating! We thought we'd just flick a switch and the house would be toasty and warm. Unfortunately, we were wrong. We had to learn how to 'bleed' the system and a moderately faulty boiler means that we have to keep a vigilant eye on the pressure. Heating is very expensive as well, so we have to balance a warm house with high energy bills. As we're in the loft apartment, we lose a fair bit of heat though the ceiling, but we're getting better at regulating the temperature. I'm sure that we'll soon have it properly sussed (just in time for winter proper).
Fletch returned to work the day after we arrived back and has been busy settling into his role. I turned my gaze to the job ads and my dedication to the task has just paid off. Yesterday, I was offered a job as a Research and Policy Analyst with the local government. It is conditional on a few things (security and medical checks), but I'm hoping to start in the near future. It does mean some early mornings until we get a car - the job is on the other side of the river and the only bus leaves from the city centre at 7.30am, so I'll have to be up well before the sun (it currently gets light at nearly 8am and dark at about 4pm).
We don't have a great deal on our agenda for the next while. We're planning a quiet Christmas, just the two of us, which will be a considerable change from the rambuncous family gatherings we are used to. My younger brother will probably be coming to visit us in the New Year, which will be fun. Hopefully, he will be the first of many visitors! The only other event we have pencilled in for the moment is a big night out to celebrate the award of my Master of Philosophy. I found out that the degree had been awarded just after we arrived back in the UK, but the certificate takes a bit longer to be produced. Once it arrives here, it's party time!
Fletch’s tips for new employees
Its been a while since I have subjected you all to my weekly advice column, delving out extreme idealism, cultural sensitivity and towering humility. And since we are moving to a new format for Maria and Fletch Abroad, I thought I’d make a change to my advice column. I must admit I feel much more industrious having swapped my 41 hours a week at work ‘holiday’ for my 36.5 hour a week ‘working’ life. So for the next little while at least I’m going to present some insights into being an employee for a big, publicly funded institution. As I have always worked as a contractor before, some of the perks and absurdities are new to me. And so to this weeks advice;
Learn the subtle and mysterious art of the free lunch.
Many of you would argue that there is no such thing as a free lunch. I was tempted to lament the same having been knobbled (in the words of Jim, the Drama technician) into being the Departmental Safety Officer, the Fire Warden and the Display Screen Equipment Assessor, all in my pursuit of free lunches. Let me explain.
Universities have a staff development department. Staff development departments offer courses in time management to people who are too busy to attend, and so forth. They rely on ‘bums on seats’ in order to justify their existence, and so must offer incentives in order to get good attendances. Ergo, the ‘free lunch’.
Now people know that they can get a free lunch at these training sessions, so they sign up for courses, and to be fair, they do their best to seem interested. The development department has become cluey to this of course, so they often put their feelers out, asking for expressions of interest in potential courses. This is really code for ‘put up your hand if you want to come to a course without a free lunch’ as you have to commit to it before knowing the details.
Finally, the lunch often turns out not to be free; not that they charge you money, but having been trained in something they expect you to do something about it (thus my being knobbled early in the piece). However if you follow some basic rules, you can get a properly free lunch.
Rule number 1: Don’t ever put you name on a list for a course which hasn’t been scheduled and advertised with an inclusive meal. If people seem interested in improving themselves willy-nilly then western civilisation will surely crumble.
Rule number 2: Only ever attend events which are totally irrelevant to you or which you would not be reasonably expected to attend. For example, there is an open meeting on Virtual Learning Environments coming up in a couple of days which I am very keen to attend. There is no reason for me to be there, and little chance anyone would recognise me, so I am unlikely to get knobbled into doing anything. There is a free lunch however, and since the meeting is being attended by the VC, all the DVCs and a few Deans, it ought to be a very good one.
Rule number 3: If all else fails, remember that there is sufficient nutrition to keep you going until tea time in Assorted Cream Biscuits, just so long as you eat enough of them. And no meeting or training ever happens without Assorted Creams.
